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October is Too Far Away

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Last week, I was rambling on about how this summer would be boring in the world of video games. That still holds true. Kind of. No new games have come out yet, BUT I have good news. Very good news.

Thanks to Unreal Technology, SkyMap, and Epic Games, I had the amazing opportunity to play a PC game, which very few people have played, called Bacon Man. Yes. I said Bacon Man. Your character is a slab of bacon than runs around kicking butt. Okay, he’s not just a slab of bacon, but he IS dressed up as a superhero.

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This game is ridiculously charming. Not only are you A PIECE OF BACON, but you are the rightful heir to the Meat Throne. But someone isn’t happy about that. You kick off in a location known only as The Freezer, and our hero, Bacon Man, is in the clutches of the enemy. A big, meaty figure is standing near a very, very deep pit. This creature’s dialogue is short and sweet, but I couldn’t help but notice the enormous crown atop his head. And just like a power-hungry ruler, this meaty dude commands two eskimo-looking guys to throw something into the deep pit. That something is Bacon Man. So he starts tumbling down into this cavern, but this isn’t any ordinary cavern. We ARE in The Freezer, after all. So as Bacon Man is falling, I notice that the walls are riddled with bones; ribs to be exact.

Anyway, Bacon Man stands up to see this warthog blocking the path. It turns out that this warthog’s name is Excaliboar. It was once this guy started talking that I decided this game rocked. Excaliboar tells us that he is cursed with immortality. There’s a little smack talk, and then Excaliboar decides that he wants to whoop Bacon Man. This opening battle reminded me of how a matador fights a bull. Excaliboar is invincible, so the only way to win is to have the invincible warthog crash into the icy walls.

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Bacon Man reminded me of Earthworm Jim – the graphics are similar and so is the combat. That’s not a bad thing, rather a new spin on the familiar. Bacon Man can jump, punch, wall-jump, all that cool stuff. This game is a little quirky, too. For example, the checkpoint looked like a rocky fist, but when I walked past it, the rocks morphed to a thumbs-up sign. Cool!

Bacon Man is still in the Alpha stage, but it looks like fun. I don’t usually play PC games, but if Earthworm Jim is your kind of game, definitely look forward to Bacon Man.

Make sure you tune into A Bit of Geek and Nerdery episode #32 (released this Sunday at 11pm central on Stitcher and iTunes) to hear my boss interviewing Neal Laurenza from Skymap and geeking out over bacon and gaming. You can also support Bacon Man but supporting their Kick-starter over here.

In other news, I’m sure you all have heard the news about the new Super Smash Bros. characters. If you haven’t beaten Fire Emblem Awakening, STOP READING.

– – –  S P O I L E R   A L E R T  – – –

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Now, for those of you who have beaten Awakening, welcome to the longest summer of your life. The 3DS release date for Super Smash Bros. is set for early October, and that’s way too far away. I sat down to watch the trailer and I was blown away. Fire Emblem is one of my favorite series of all time. And, let’s be honest, the new Smash was bound to have a new Fire Emblem character — but I expected Chrom! He seems like the perfect archtype to fit into the Smash Bros. mold. But no. Chrom’s daughter, Lucina, was announced. To be honest, I don’t think it’s possible to be more excited. Lucina is by far my favorite character in Awakening. I have a feeling that she will be quite similar to Marth, BUT WHO CARES?  It’s LUCINA. But that wasn’t enough. In Awakening, you create your own protagonist from scratch. And who would have guessed that this self-made character would be playable in the new Smash? I just rock back and forth when I think about it. I don’t think that I’ll be able to survive until October. But until then, I’ll have to appease myself with watching the STUNNING trailer every 20 minutes.

It’s like Nintendo knows that the summer isn’t going to fly by, so they have to torture us with these spoilers. I can’t wait.

This week revealed the new Smash Bros. characters. What will next week hold? Maybe the new Smash Bros. will have its release date moved up to early August. I know that will never happen… but a boy’s gotta dream.

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